


Bitter Desire

by naopis



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naopis/pseuds/naopis
Summary: In a world where on your 16th birthday your soulmates first touch to your skin appears like a shadow, Junhee can’t help but be concerned about the hand print around his neck.
Relationships: Lee Donghun & Park Junhee | Jun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this!! Is my first ever a.c.e story!! I’m super excited to finally be writing about my ults,,,
> 
> tw// mentions of blood, abuse, death, general angst??? But it’s also super fluffy!!
> 
> also I’d love to make choice friendsㅠㅠ  
> so if you’d like you can follow me on Instagram @amaethst and message me!! I’d love to chat!!
> 
> I hope you like this story and feedback is appreciated~

It was the early morning of a Saturday, the day after Junhee’s 16th birthday. He was making his way downstairs to eat the breakfast his mother had called him down for when one of his elder sisters pulled him to the side.

“What is that?” She whispered in an almost scolding tone as she pointed to the shadow around the young boys neck. 

“What?”

“The mark around your neck, Junhee. What have you-“ The tail end of his sisters sentence faded as he bolted back up the stairs and into the bathroom straight ahead of the landing. 

Locking the door behind him, he stood in front of the mirror, eyes wider than they ever had been before.

There it was. A large, masculine hand print around the base of his neck stared back at him, the dark brown of the mark a contrast against his already sun-kissed skin. 

Any other sixteen year old would be beaming with adoration at their newly formed mark, the part of themselves that connected them to their soulmate.

But for Junhee, this was nothing but concerning. 

And so for the next two years of his life, Junhee did nothing but keep it a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first ever a.c.e fic!! I really hope you all enjoy it!!
> 
> I’d love to make choice friends too so if you’d like to you can follow and chat to me on insta @amaethst or on Twitter @sehbunny !! 
> 
> Feedback is of course always welcome~!!


	2. Senior Year

Junhee couldn’t help but wonder when he would meet his other half, the one to litter him with the mark he’d kept hidden beneath scarves and turtlenecks for the last two years. But then again, he’d been wondering that every day since his sixteenth birthday. 

_Maybe today’s the day _he thought, chuckling out loud to dismiss the idea as he did every other day.__

__It wasn’t. It never was._ _

__It reached July, then August, and then Junhee found himself sitting at his new desk on the first day of his final year of high school in September. Time seemed to be flying by all to quickly for him to keep up with._ _

__The quicker time went by, meant the sooner he would be able to find out exactly how the first meeting of him and his supposed soulmate plays out._ _

__But then again, did he even want to know?_ _

__Huffing, Junhee let his head fall against the cold wood of his desk. _Why did it have to be this nerve wracking._ __

__

__

__Days went by, then weeks, and before he new it, Junhee was at the stage of having to think about college, though he’d been preparing for this longer than a lot of the students in his class._ _

__Having achieved straight A’s persistently for his high school career in music, participated in every musical the building held and built up a relatively successful name for himself as a city busker, it was known by most that he would be attending the university of arts, and hopefully on a scholarship._ _

__But that was still months away, and to Junhee, nothing mattered more to him than finding the one behind his scar._ _

__It limited him in more ways than just being embarrassing, though having multiple of his classmates ask if it was a bruise from a rough night in bed was definitely humiliation that he would love to live without._ _

__What would his parents say if they saw it? His other sister? Would they think the same as his classmates? How does he explain that it wasn’t from a partner in bed? Say that he was attacked? How could he lie about something as serious as that-_ _

__“Kid, are you listening?” Junhee’s vocal coach wonders, flicking his head playfully to snap him from his daze._ _

__“Sorry, sir.” He sighed defeatedly. He seemed to be losing patience for his other half awfully quickly recently._ _

__“Well, we’re done for today. I’m not going to ask why you’ve been zoning out for half my lesson because frankly, I don’t care.” They both laughed as they began collecting their things. His vocal coach Jaehwan had always been a playful guy, he could never be serious for more than a minute which Junhee appreciated. It certainly made the two hours they spent together each Friday after school more entertaining._ _

__“I’ll see you next week, kid! Keep practicing!”_ _

__Waving a short goodbye to each other, Junhee made his way down the school hallway towards the back entrance, planning to stop by the soccer field on his way home to catch up with his soccer enthusiast of a best friend, Yuchan._ _

__He couldn’t help but notice the occasional glances thrown his way from the odd student passing by here and there, or the way they whispered to each other once they assumed they were out of ear shot. It was... odd, to say the least. But what could they possibly be conversing about that had anything to do with himself, Junhee thought._ _

__As he pushed his way out of the back exit and towards the track field, a sharp yell halted him in his tracks._ _

__“You!”_ _

__Suddenly Junhee was pressed firmly against the cold bricks of the building, a student with a matching navy uniform to his own glaring angrily into his eyes as he elevated him onto his toes by the hand harshly wrapped around his neck._ _

__“It was you! You’re the one spreading rumours about me!” He growled, shoving Junhee harder into the wall as tears began to fill his eyes in pain._ _

__“N-No I’ve never-“_ _

__“Don’t play dumb with me, kid! I could be homeless today because of you! How dare you go around telling the entire school that I’m gay!”_ _

__“I-I don’t know you- why would I-“ Junhee choked out, voice hoarse from the fingers tightening around his neck, restricting his airflow. His vision started to blur as he raised a hand to wrap around the strangers wrist that gripped his throat._ _

__“P-Please- let go-“ Junhee whispered before slipping down the bricks in unconsciousness._ _

__The strangers grip around Junhee’s neck faltered as he stared in shock at his wrist, the shadow he had stolen glances at for two years slowly beginning to disappear from the touch of the boy laying lifeless on the floor beneath him._ _

__It was then, that he noticed the mark around the boy’s neck beneath him as it too, slowly began to fade._ _


	3. Chapter 3

Junhee regained consciousness under the weight of his own, crisp bedsheets that same evening. Voices from the room below pulling him from his sleep as they echoed through his home.

Shifting softly onto his side to stare down at the bustling city from his fifth story window, he watched, dazed as snowflakes fell to the peaceful world below. 

“Hyung!” Startled at the sound of the youngers hushed voice, Junhee snapped his head from the window to meet Yuchan’s curious gaze.

“Are you okay? How do you feel?” Yuchan questioned as he threw himself clumsily on the edge of the bed.

Junhee shrugged. 

“What happened?” He asked as his hand rose up to caress his tender throat. Memories of the stranger that had assaulted him earlier that afternoon slowly coming back to him.

“Well, that Hyung from the photography department- Donghun I think? I watched him grab you! We all heard him yelling from the field and I ran over immediately but by the time I got there he had already stopped. I was kind of hoping you could tell me what happened?” 

Junhee took the opportunity to stretch out his aching limbs, and in doing so, noticed the stinging of his shoulders, scraped from the bricks he had slid down. His hand carded through his bed hair as he spoke.

“He was accusing me of spreading rumours about him.”

“You? But why would you do that? You don’t even know him.”

“Right. That’s what I said to him but he didn’t seem to believe me. Seemed pretty adamant that I was to blame.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments, confusion painted all over Yuchan’s face as he swung his legs like an impatient child over the edge of the bed.

“What did you tell my parents?” 

“Said you fell coming out of school, hit your head.” Junhee hummed in contentment at that. He had fallen so much in the past that his parents wouldn’t even bother questioning him. 

“Hyung, did something happen? Between you and Donghun Hyung.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well when I got over to you he didn’t say a word. Even when I started asking him what he was doing he just... stood there, staring at his hand. It was really weird.” 

At that, Junhee’s eyes suddenly widened. Bolting up from the bed, he dashed from his bedroom and into the bathroom, pulling down the collar of his school shirt in front of the mirror before unbuttoning it and stripping it off entirely. 

_It’s gone. ___

____

____

_No way._

____

____

_No... fucking... way. ___

____

____

“It’s him.” Junhee stated as he walked back into his bedroom, throwing on a sweater from the dryer on his way in. 

“Huh?”

“It’s him. Yuchan, he’s my soulmate.” 

“What?! Donghun? How do you know-“ Yuchan queried as he scrambled off of Junhee’s bed to meet the elder face to face as he paced around his own bedroom. 

“My mark, it’s gone. He grabbed me by the neck and now it’s gone.” 

“Are you sure? I mean-“

“Yuchan. I’m sure.”

The pair stood in silence for what felt like an eternity, gazing at one another in shock. 

“I grabbed his wrist. If his mark started disappearing at that same moment, then that’s probably what he was staring at when you came over.”

“But if he’s your soulmate then why did he- And he accused you of spreading rumours? What were they?”

“That he... was gay.”

Yuchan’s mouth began to form that of an ‘o’ as he stood trying to comprehend what his best friend was telling him. 

“But then if he’s not gay then how can you be-“

“I don’t know.” 

Throwing themselves back onto the bed in frustration, the two boys sighed. 

“I need to talk to him.”

“Are you crazy? This guy attacked you!” 

“I know, but I need to know why.”


	4. Chapter 4

After a weekend spent alone in his bedroom, mind never silent of the countless what ifs and unanswered questions, here Junhee stood. Outside of the photography department out of school hours, gaze fixated on the boy he knew to be his soulmate as he ambled around the studio. 

Junhee couldn’t tear his eyes away.

He surveyed the boy as he moved equipment around the large, empty space. He was the only one left in the room as it neared the end of the day, so he seemed to take his time. Junhee could hear him sing to himself as he packed away his belongings.

He could have been fooled that time had stopped all together as he stood observing the other, having felt like he’d been hiding in the hallway for what could have easily been over an hour already since he had gotten there. 

The evening sun poured through the windows of the white studio and veiled the male he had been silently studying, his skin radiant and shrouded gold. 

Junhee’s breath suddenly caught in his throat as the other sharply turned and made his way towards the door, bolting quickly to the left and pressing himself against the lockers that surrounded the classroom behind him. 

Squeezing his eyes shut in both anticipation and fear, Junhee waited for the boy to make his way home for the night. With a soft click, the studio door had self locked, and footsteps made their way towards him. 

The boy almost walked past him without even a second glance before Junhee’s voice halted him in his tracks.

“Can we talk?”

Junhee’s heart pounded in his chest as the other cautiously turned to face him, eyes widening at who they were met with.

“It’s Donghun, right?”

A small hum was Junhee’s only answer. 

Donghun wasn’t as intimidating now as Junhee had first thought. In fact, he looked rather sad.

“What do you want? I have places to be.” Okay, maybe he was a _little _intimidating.__

____

__

“I want to know why you attacked me the way you did.” 

Donghun sighed, visibly frustrated as his hand rose to card through his caramel brown hair. 

He was attractive, Junhee noted. Very, at that. His hair was long, softly curled and parted down the middle to frame his face. He was almost regal, like a prince, Junhee would say.

“It was a misunderstanding. I’m sorry.”

“That’s it? All I get is a half-assed apology for you rendering me unconscious?” Junhee retorted, making his annoyance known to the other. 

“What else do you want?” Donghun growled, clearly losing patience with the boy before him.

“I want to talk about this, about what we are-“

“What we are? We’re not anything.” Donghun stated, crossing his arms to his chest as he cocked an eyebrow in anticipation of Junhee’s next few words. 

“But we’re-“

“No, we’re not. We’re not anything and we’re never going to be anything.”

Junhee’s mouth opened only for the words to crumble before being able to make their descent from the tip of his tongue. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea. You don’t mean anything to me, just as I shouldn’t to you. Got it?”

With one last antagonistic glare, Donghun made his exit, hiking his sidebag up on to his shoulder before casually sauntering past Junhee as if he were never there.

And with that, it was over.  
And Junhee couldn’t help but feel heartbroken.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waaa!! I’m sorry this took so long! 
> 
> I’m very appreciative of you guys’ comments and all the love you’ve shown me for my first story ;w; I really hope you’re all enjoying it so far!!<3
> 
> *edit to paragraph eleven because I wrote weekend instead of month >:c

Donghun stood beyond the mass of bodies that had gathered in the middle of the crowded city street. 

It was his third time standing in this exact spot this week despite it only being Friday evening. 

In nothing more than his uniform, he wrapped his blazer tighter around himself as the wind blew a chill through the air. 

Gaze leaping from person to person, he took note of the different personalities that surrounded him. Business-men and women that paused in curiosity while returning home, couples passing by as they hopped from store to store, young girls that squealed as they hit record on their phones and snapped photographs on their expensive cameras. 

And on the other side of those lenses, stood a boy Donghun had become painfully infatuated with. 

For two weeks now, whenever this specific route was on his agenda while returning home from the academy, he would stop to listen to the boy he had wrongfully accused and assaulted. 

Standing before one of the largest crowds gathered by a busker in this specific part of the city, was Junhee. 

And for the third time this week, the boy sang to many, pouring every ounce of emotion possible into the song that fell beautifully from his rose tinted lips. 

It wasn’t a song he could recognise this evening, and yet hearing it from Junhee somehow made it feel as if he had known it his whole life. It was nostalgic, almost. 

He was good. Really good. Donghun could remember the day he stumbled apon the boy on his way home the Friday evening two weeks prior to today. His delicate, charismatic voice that fell upon his ears was captivating and the elder couldn’t help but stop to settle the curiosity that loomed. 

As his eyes fell upon the boy he had practically abused the month before, he stood in awe for the rest of his performance, hidden within the crowd. 

That day, resulted in another. 

And then another. 

And now, here he was. Two weeks and seven busking sessions later. Hopelessly consumed with desire for a boy that he barely knew. One he was convinced would never want anything to do with him, ever again.

A boy that he would never be able to be close to.

A boy that he could never love. 

He couldn’t, because Junhee wasn’t his. He can’t be. 

Not ever. 

That thought was more painful than anything Donghun had ever endured, because he knew it was the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this chapter and I’m sorry it took so long o(╥﹏╥)o let me know what you think~!!

Ambling around his grand stage of the evening, which in reality consisted of the concrete of the city street in front of his favourite cafe, Junhee packed away his equipment. 

Pausing on occasion to take photographs with members of his audience or when the odd senior citizen would question what idol group he was from to which Junhee could only chuckle and explain that he was just an average student. Eventually, he was ready to go. 

It was cold tonight, he noted. Catching glimpses of his breath as it clouded the air, he rubbed his palms together, blowing a much needed warmth into his cupped hands as his body began to freeze over gradually. 

Picking up his case of equipment with a heave, the weight drowning his muscles as if in deep water, he turned to make his way towards the subway station. 

In doing so, his eyes met those of a boy that had his heart skipping a beat. The latter’s gaze dropped quickly to the floor as if he were a criminal that had been caught red handed.

Junhee walked towards him quietly, yet rather eagerly.

“Donghun?” He questioned, dipping to the side in order to show himself to the elder who’s gaze was still glued to the floor.

Donghun’s eyes met his own, before a small smile pulled at his lips nervously. 

“Hi.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I’m just... on my way home.” Donghun admitted, hand rising to scratch bashfully at the back of his head. Junhee’s mouth opened slightly as he let out a hum of understanding in response to the other, slightly defeated.

Donghun must have noticed. 

“You were good today. I mean- like... really good.” 

Junhee smiled sheepishly. Replaying the elder boy’s sentence in his head, his brow raised curiously.

“Today? As in you’ve watched me more than just tonight?”

Donghun’s eyes widened, gazing at the younger in fear of what he might think of him if he told him the truth.

What could he say? That on each night he returns home from his out of school English classes that he stops to admire the boy he’s became infatuated with? Junhee would probably cry stalker at that.

“I-I saw you a couple of times on my way home.” _I guess that’s not technically a lie,_ Donghun thought to himself. 

Junhee seemed pleased with his response, much to the elder’s relief. Taking a moment to look at the younger boy, Donghun could feel the butterflies in his stomach take flight as he took in every inch of Junhee as he stood before him. His face illuminated by the neon lights of the restaurants that he faced, the wind tussling his hair gently as it passed through, his cheeks flushed from the cold. 

Junhee coughed anxiously, hand carding through his hair as he interrupted the elder’s thoughts.

“Would you wanna maybe go grab a coffee? You still owe me an explanation after all. If you want, that is-“

“Sure.” Donghun agreed, smiling nervously to the other who casually directed him to a small cafe a short walk up the street they currently stood on. 

As they began their journey, Donghun noted how Junhee’s grip faltered occasionally as he carried the equipment case. Reaching over nonchalantly, he slipped his hand through the handle and took the case from Junhee entirely, who turned, surprised as he met the others eyes.

“What-“

“Let me. I carry camera equipment heavier than this every day. I don’t mind.” 

Junhee blushed softly at the thoughtful gesture. 

Soon enough they made it inside the cafe and got comfortable at a small table by the city facing windows. Donghun sighed into his hot coffee, steam dampening his pink dusted cheeks ever so slightly.

“Truthfully, I’ve been watching you sing for a while now.” He began confidently, Junhee’s gaze rising from his equally as hot beverage.

“Why have I never noticed you before?”

“I usually leave before you finish your set.” Donghun continued, pausing to sip at his drink he cupped gently between his palms. “I’m not sure why I decided to stay tonight, though I’m glad I did.” He smiled nervously, eyes meeting Junhee’s momentarily before returning to their spot to practically burn holes in the table. 

“You know,” Junhee began, studying the boy before him curiously. “You almost seem like a completely different person now compared to the boy I met two weeks ago.” 

Donghun chuckled sadly, finger circling the rim of his mug before sighing.

“I’m really sorry for the way I treated you and how I spoke to you. You just wanted an explanation and I understand that I was just... I was afraid of this, of you. I didn’t handle the situation very well.” 

“The situation? So when you said that we weren’t-“ 

Donghun shifted in his seat, grip on his right hand abandoning the warmth of the mug to lay against the oak of the table, the other pulling up his sleeve slightly, revealing his wrist as he began to speak.

“My mark, it used to be around my wrist here.” He began, fingertips gliding against his smooth, golden skin. Junhee held his breath. “When I had you against the wall, you grabbed my wrist and I watched as the mark started to fade. As I realised what was happening, I looked back up at you and noticed that where my hand was around your neck you had a similar mark and that was fading too. I freaked out and I let you go but you were already unconscious by then.” Donghun explained, eyes shining with what Junhee could only assume was tears. “I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you it’s just... I was afraid of the rumours going around about me and what would happen if-“ Junhee noted the way Donghun’s voice cracked ever so slightly and how his eyes shone with more tears before the boy blinked them away just as quickly as they came. “Anyway, I didn’t handle it well and hurting you was never my intention. Someone gave me a name and pointed me in your direction and I- well I didn’t bother fact checking before I came after you. I hope you can forgive me.” He explained, sad eyes meeting Junhee’s as he waited anxiously for the latter to respond, fingers returning to tap his lukewarm mug nervously.

“It was a misunderstanding after all, what’s there not to forgive.” Junhee replied, smile sympathetic as he peered innocently at the other. “So we’re really... you know.”

Donghun’s eyes rapidly turned sad once more, head falling in defeat.

“Junhee I... I can’t be that person to you and I’m afraid that I might not ever be able to.” Donghun admitted, a shaky breath falling from his lips and junhee watched as his hands began to tremble slightly before he moved them into his lap and out of sight. His stomach began to churn anxiously as he awaited Donghun’s next few words. 

But, they never came.

“This is really serious, right?” Junhee began, Donghun raising his gaze from his lap and to the other curiously. “Whatever it is that’s holding you back.” He asked, earning a small nod from the elder in return.

“Then I don’t need to know. Not right now.”

“Please understand that I’m doing this for both my sake and yours.” Donghun replied softly. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt anymore than you already have been because of me.” 

“I understand.” Junhee whispered softly in return. “I hope one day you’re able to tell me exactly what happened, but until then I won’t force you to. I don’t want you to hurt because of me, either.” 

The photography student’s sad eyes pulled at the musicians heart strings. At any moment the boy could burst into tears and Junhee wouldn’t know why or how to help.

But he was here. Junhee’s soulmate sat before him having admitted what he was to Junhee. 

Despite not having him in the way Junhee had initially wanted his soulmate to be, it felt like it was enough. 

“Thank you.”


	7. Chapter 7

Junhee lay in the silence of his warm city lit bedroom, car horns humming and dog barks echoing like a broken record in the distance as the world slowly began to awaken. 

With his eyes glued to the ceiling like they had been for the past few hours, he replayed the events from the evening prior over in his mind as if watching one of his favourite movies.

Donghun. That is and was the only thing on his mind and had been for hours. Or... for weeks, really. His melancholic eyes, his smooth, golden skin, his softly curled hair, the way his tongue poked out to lick at his lips when he was nervous. Everything about the boy was infatuating to Junhee. 

Yet he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that was effecting him so badly. Junhee said he didn’t need to know and he really didn’t. However it was frustrating to have to wonder alone what it was the elder was so afraid of. 

So terrified of rumours spreading around school about being gay that he resulted to violence? What was so awful to Donghun about loving another boy?

Pulling Junhee abruptly from his thoughts was the vibration of his phone that lay beside his head. Rolling gently onto his left side, he noted the time of the clock that met his gaze as his screen lit up. 04:03am.

Beneath the time however, sat a message notification that had a love-struck grin pulling softly at his lips.

이동훈 04:00  
Hey. You up?

04:04 박준희  
can’t sleep o(╥﹏╥)o  
what’s up?

이동훈 04:05  
me neitherㅠㅠ  
thank you for being so understanding last night, it means a lot. I’m sorry for being so complicated. 

04:05 박준희  
you don’t have to apologise, I’m just grateful you took the time to talk to me (*˘︶˘*)

이동훈 04:06  
the emojis you use are cute

Junhee couldn’t help but squeal as Donghun’s voice sounded in his mind as he read over his last message. 

_He’s calling me cute, technically. ___

__Before he could reply however, another followed._ _

__이동훈 04:09  
actually, I’m messaging so early because I have a favour to ask...   
I have a project coming up and I need a model for it, would you be interested? it’s okay if you don’t want to. _ _

__04:09 박준희  
I’d love to!! ^o^_ _

__이동훈 04:09  
are you free later today? We could meet and talk through it if you’re up for it? 2pm at the park two stops from school? _ _

__The park in question was in fact not far of a walk from Junhee’s own home._ _

__Therefore naturally, he agreed._ _

__

__Swinging peacefully back and forth, eyes glued to the sunlit sky, Junhee waited patiently for the elder to arrive._ _

__It took ten or so minutes for the latter to show up, wearing more clothing than Junhee would deem appropriate for a warm afternoon like today._ _

__Donghun sauntered over almost eagerly, small bashful smile pulling at his lips as he did so before he sat hastily in the swing next to the younger._ _

__As Donghun’s hands rose up to grip the metal bars of the swing, Junhee’s gaze fell to the Slight discolouration of his knuckles and how the skin of a couple were slightly torn._ _

__Noticing this, the elder swiftly pulled the oversized arms of his long sleeve down to conceal them._ _

__“I uh, did a boxing class. Don’t think it’s for me, personally.” Donghun chuckled almost nervously, diverting the conversation quickly._ _

__Junhee was rather sceptical._ _

__“So, my assignment for photography class...” Donghun began, beginning to swing softly back and forth, kicking his legs forward gently as he lifted his eyes to the sky._ _

__“we need to ‘capture light and how it changes the facial structure and contours of the body’. So, with that... I might need you to be shirtless for a few if that’s okay.” He seemed anxious Junhee noted. Occasionally the elder would stop and look around, as if checking for something or someone and his voice was softer than usual as if to keep hushed._ _

__Junhee chuckled softly._ _

__“I’m training to be in musical theatre, so I’ve taken headshots like that already.” He began, gaining Donghun’s attention as he turned his head. “so it’s okay with me~” Junhee sung with a smile, causing the other to smile back bashfully._ _

__“Okay, cool. So I’ll need you to come by after school a couple of days a week, does Tuesday and Friday work?”_ _

__Junhee had vocal lessons on a Friday._ _

__I’m sure I can miss a couple..? He debated, eyes locking on to those that shone sadly like a puppy before him. Suddenly, he needed no more convincing._ _

__“Sure!” He smiled, heart fluttering at the pretty smile that was mirrored back to him. Though, maybe it was just Donghun that was pretty._ _

__Donghun began chattering eagerly about his project and how Junhee would be his first ever model, but the latter wasn’t really listening. Junhee was too busy admiring the elder as he swung back and forth. His tattered knuckles gripped the iron of the swing poles gently, breeze from the force of his swinging tussling his long hair and bringing it forward to frame his face beautifully. As he swung forward once more however, Junhee noticed something that made his stomach churn in worry._ _

__Another bruise._ _

__“Your neck... battle scar from boxing as well?”_ _

__Donghun froze his swinging abruptly before coming to a complete halt with the small squeaking of metal. Lifting a hand around the exact spot of his neck where the bruise sat almost proudly, he let out a breathy, nervous chuckle._ _

__“Oh, yeah. The instructor was a little aggressive with his teachings.” Donghun admitted, eyes sad and gaze glued to the concrete beneath his feet._ _

__Suddenly, the elder stood._ _

__“I, uh... I gotta go. Family stuff. But I’ll see you on Tuesday, yeah?” Donghun asked, eyes sad yet hopeful. Something about the boy made Junhee feel like crying._ _

__“I’ll be there.” Junhee grinned, a hint of sympathy in his smile for the boy that stood anxiously before him._ _

__With a small friendly smile Donghun made his way back from where he came, turning to wave casually as he went._ _

__Junhee was left feeling uneasy. Worried, almost. But... why?_ _

__“Text me!” He yelled out just before the boy was out of his sight._ _

__“I will!”_ _

__And with that, the boy was gone and Junhee was left questioning his own worries and curiosities surrounding the other._ _

__Something wasn’t right and Junhee was determined to find out what. Whatever it took._ _


	8. Chapter 8

Donghun meandered through the warm open space of the photography studio, setting up equipment as he went. 

The sun was beginning to set, it’s golden curtain descending slowly down the white walls like the conclusion to a broadway show, turning everything in its way into untouched treasure. 

Soon enough, the music student he had come to know rather well had entered eagerly for their shoot, and Donghun’s breath caught in his throat at the sight.

Junhee’s hair was damp from showering after gym, the elder assumed. His sun kissed skin glistened under the rays that fell from the sky, his spare clothes he had brought along were loose and fit him as if they belonged to Donghun himself, being definitively larger than the younger.

He was cute. Too cute. He looked comfortable and soft and like he could fall asleep at any moment, Donghun thought. 

“I hope you don’t mind getting bossed around.” Donghun began, forcefully diverting his attention into fiddling with the settings of his expensive camera. “I’ll need to do that a lot today, if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course. It’s your art, after all.” Junhee replied with a smile. 

It was a smile so genuine, that Donghun couldn’t help but return it.

“How are your bruises healing?” Junhee asked nonchalantly, still concerned. Donghun froze, wide eyes rising to meet Junhee’s own confused pair.

“From boxing...?”

“Oh- yeah, right.” Donghun coughed nervously, rising up from his crouching position to adjust his equipment so he was face to face with the other. 

“Yeah, they’re getting better. Thank you.” He smiled, changing the subject quickly. 

“You ready to start?” 

With that, the pair made their way towards the open space situated before Donghun’s camera lens that stood tall by the open windows of the studio, letting in a gentle breeze and the chatting of the birds.

A short wooden stool sat in the centre of the setup that Junhee assumed was for himself, plopping down enthusiastically with no instruction from the other.

“Should we do some practice shots first?” Donghun asked softly, eyeing the younger boy through his viewfinder. Junhee nodded.

“Okay just do whatever you want for these, really. I won’t boss you around too much for a practice unless you want me to.” The elder chuckled playfully, earning a cute snort from Junhee in response, his smile the widest Donghun had ever seen it. 

With a flash of his camera and the clicking of the shutter, that was a memory Donghun was sure he would keep forever. 

Junhee was beautiful, especially with the grin that currently adorned his sun shrouded face. It was a sight that had the photographers heart most definitely skipping a beat. 

A few more practice shots for Donghun to adjust his settings to compliment the natural lighting of the studio and he was ready to go. 

“I need you to take off your shirt now.” Donghun whispered softly as he made his way over to the boy still perching on the stool. 

With no hesitation, Junhee’s arms crossed over his stomach and grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt, pulling it up and over his head in one quick and enticing movement. 

Donghun crouched before the younger, gaze attaching to his hair as he raised a hand to card through it softly, ruffling it as he tried to find a look he deemed appropriate for the vision he had in mind. 

Slicking it back, his hand moved down accompanied by his other to grip Junhee’s waist, delicately twisting the vocalist to face him from his off centre position.

Their eyes met briefly, their faces barely inches apart. Junhee’s soft, warm hips tensed nervously under Donghun’s gentle hands, a small gasp leaving his lips at that same moment. 

Both boys cheeks flushed furiously before their locked eyes tore away from each other’s, now glued to the floor shyly. 

“Yeah, um-“ Donghun began, tripping over himself sheepishly as he made his way back behind his camera. “Just look at the camera like that. Serious.” 

Forcing the redness away from his cheeks and surfacing his professionalism, Junhee spread his legs slightly, leaning forward to grip the stool firmly as he gazed straight through the lens and into Donghun’s view.

Taken aback by Junhee’s sudden switch of character; now glaring almost seductively into the lense, Donghun stood frozen, unable to tear his eyes away from the boy that perched before him. 

He was... gorgeous. His soft brown hair that remained tousled from Donghun’s own hand, his softly tanned skin as it glittered in the setting sun, his deep brown eyes that shone gold as the light struck them, his lightly toned arms and stomach as he continued to lean forward against the stool he perched on. 

Everything about the boy was stunning and much to Donghun’s dismay, he could feel himself falling for him more and more with each passing second. 

“Is something wrong?” Junhee began softly, now peering up at the elder with concern in his eyes, a drastic change to the sensual way he gazed through Donghun seconds prior. 

“N-No, sorry I was just... thinking.” He replied, shaking himself from his foolish thoughts. “Let’s start.” 

With that, they began the shoot. 

Countless snapshots were captured of Junhee from multiple different angles and positions, the singer showing every single emotion and expression possible. It was impressive (to say the least) and every photograph taken took the photographers breath away.

Junhee was ethereal. Like an Angel brought to earth to light up Donghun’s dark days. (His days were definitively brighter since he had met Junhee that time in the city, that was for sure.) He couldn’t deny the swelling of his heart as he peered adoringly at Junhee who still sat before him in his own little world.

For a moment, Donghun toyed with the idea of stepping closer, pulling him up into his embrace and kissing him then and there. 

But that’s what it remained, an idea. One than was quickly discarded as the danger of the situation clouded his mind, overshadowing every loving thought of the boy and pulling the photographer abruptly back to reality.

“I think we’re done for the day.” Donghun beamed sweetly, masking his pain quickly as he tried to shake intrusive thoughts of the younger from his mind. 

To no avail, however.

Junhee was and had been his every thought since the day they had met, and Donghun was afraid that it would stay that way forever.

But in that same moment, he realised that he adored the thought of the musician even more.

That realisation however, scared him more than anything.

Junhee stood casually, pulling his sweatshirt back over his head eagerly as he did so. He watched intently as the photographer began to pack away his things in quick and fluid motions. 

There was something about the boy before him as he ambled around that Junhee found incredibly captivating. 

As he reached over to pick up his equipment case however, Junhee couldn’t hold back the gasp that escaped his throat at the sight.

Donghun’s shirt had untucked and was now bunched up towards his waist, revealing a large expanse of discoloured and semi-swollen skin from beneath the hem of his pants to the base of his rib cage. The bruising was not new, Junhee noted. The photographers skin was a deep yellow, signalling the healing of the injury he possessed. 

Junhee felt like crying.

At the gasp that quickly reached his ears, Donghun bolted up immediately, his shirt falling back to its place to conceal his markings. His eyes met Junhee’s own who peered at him with nothing but worry as they shone with tears.

“I-I fell in the shower.” He whispered, chuckling softly in an attempt to appear more genuine.

“Donghun-“

“I did, I swear. It’s nothing to worry about, I’m okay. I promise.”

Suddenly, Junhee’s head was buried in the crook of his neck, his arms latching around his waist carefully yet eagerly. 

Comfortingly.

With a soft whisper of the younger boys name, Donghun’s hands soon found their place, one clutching the shorter hairs of Junhee’s nape and the other circling his small waist.

For the first time in his entire life, Donghun let himself relax in the hold of another person. 

The sudden feeling of solace was overwhelming to him, dropping his head until it was pressed against Junhee’s shoulder both in relief and to hide the tears that quickly flooded his eyes. 

Hearing a small sniffle, Junhee swiftly released his grip from the elder and slid his hands up to hold the photographers face firmly in position in order for their eyes to meet. He swept away stray tears with the pads of his thumbs as he spoke.

“I know I said I didn’t need to know why you were holding back, but if it has anything to do with this... Donghun if someone’s hurting you-“

“I’m okay.”

“Donghun-“ 

“Please.” The photographer begged, voice cracking ever so slightly in frustration. “Please just believe me.”  
Averting his gaze from the younger boy that stared into his soul with so much heartache that Donghun feared he would break down, he sighed. “I won’t let you get hurt because of me.” he began, no more than a whisper as his apologetic gaze fell to the floor. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

“I want to believe you, that you’ll be okay.” Junhee began with a melancholic smile, eyes shining in despair. “But I’ve seen the way you tremble while talking about whatever your situation is. I felt the way you tensed when I held you. The bruises... it wasn’t boxing, was it?” Donghun’s head began to rise slowly at that, desperate eyes meeting those of the boy before him, his features forever painted with remorse. 

He shook his head. 

“And you didn’t fall in the shower either?”

The photographer bowed his head defeatedly and Junhee watched as tiny tears plummeted to the ground. 

“I’m sorry for lying to you.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I understand that you’re doing this to protect me for whatever reason, but Donghun if this happens again-“ Junhee paused to cup the elder boys cheeks, pulling his gaze up to meet his own as he swept the tears away once more. “If you get hurt again... I need you to tell me what’s going on, okay? I’m your... I’m your person. I can’t sit by and watch you get hurt and not be able to do anything to help you.” 

This time (and startling Junhee at his sudden forward ness) it was Donghun’s turn to embrace the younger, mop of caramel hair burrowing into his neck as the photographers arms fell clumsily around Junhee’s delicate waist. 

“Thank you for today.” Donghun breathed against the vocalists warm skin, tightening his grip around his waist as wordless gratitude. 

“I’m sorry that you’ve been dragged into this mess. And I’m sorry that for now I still can’t tell you. I know it must be hard for you.” 

“Not as hard as it clearly is for you.” Junhee replied sadly, head turning to lay comfortingly against the taller boy’s chest, hearing the steady yet mildly erratic beating of his heart. 

They remained in their embrace for a few minutes more, savouring the warmth that blossomed within their hold of each other. 

It was new, foreign even. 

Yet at the same time it was comfortable. Familiar. 

_Safe. _Donghun felt safe for the first time ever in his life.__

__All because of Junhee._ _

___His person. ____ _

____Junhee. The boy with both the face and voice of an angel. The boy who was not only his, but the subject of many other adoring eyes as he sang to countless fans and large crowds. The boy that despite his albeit low scale fame was humble. He cared about Donghun not for his talents, or for his looks but because Donghun was his person, too._ _ _ _

____Suddenly, Donghun didn’t feel worthy._ _ _ _

____“You should go, it’s getting late.” He whispered, giving the vocalist a small reassuring squeeze around his waist._ _ _ _

____“Call me later, okay?” Junhee insisted as he picked up his backpack, slinging it clumsily over his shoulder as he made his way towards the door._ _ _ _

____“I will.” Donghun replied in barely more than a whisper, smiling softly to the boy who’s face lit up in beautifully at the response._ _ _ _

____With a soft clicking of the door signalling Junhee’s departure, Donghun sank to the floor, unable to hold back the sob that wracked through his body._ _ _ _

____For the first time in forever as he covered his mouth to silence the cries, he let the tears fall._ _ _ _

____How could he possibly tell Junhee what has been happening to him, explain years of pain and suffering and drag him down without hurting him too?_ _ _ _

____Maybe he needed to._ _ _ _

____Maybe things would get easier if someone else knew._ _ _ _

____Maybe... just maybe, if Junhee knew, they could be together how they’re meant to be._ _ _ _

____Maybe. But then again, maybe not._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay!! I hope this is okay >~< I don’t like this chapter too much,,, 
> 
> Incase anyone is interested, my Twitter is @sehluvie!! feel free to dm me any time ♡


	9. Chapter 9

For the rest of that evening, Junhee waited.

Waited for a phone call that as it neared midnight, he thought would never come. 

Sitting atop his sheets with his back pressed firmly against the wall of his bedroom, legs crossed and lyric sheets scattered across his mattress, he sang quietly to himself. 

it wasn’t until he had made it midway through his third full song that his phone began to buzz rapidly against the mattress. 

As his heart began to pound gently and as an adoring smile softened his features, he picked up his phone and answered the call.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I thought you weren’t going to call.”

“Yeah sorry about that, I had a lot to do when I came home. I hope I didn’t wake you-“

“No don’t worry, I don’t plan on sleeping for a while.” Junhee couldn’t help the bashful smile that adorned his lightly flushed face at the sound of the elders honeyed voice.

“How was your night? Did you eat?” He asked, furrowing his brow at the short silence that followed.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Are you lying to me?” With that, Junhee was met with another minute of silence from the other end of the line. A clear indicator that he was correct. 

“Why didn’t you eat?”

“I’m just... I wasn’t hungry. Today’s sort of been... a lot to handle. I just don’t feel too great.” 

The photographers tone was sadder than usual, souring Junhee’s own mood at the sound.

“Promise me you’ll eat in the morning?”

“I will.”

“Junhee I-“ Donghun continued abruptly after a short moment of emptiness, sighing immediately in dismay.

“Thank you again. For today. And I don’t mean the photos.”

This time it was the vocalists turn to sigh. It was evident that whatever was about to fall from the photographers lips wasn’t what eventually reached Junhee’s ears and that in itself was frustrating.

“I know that that’s not what you really wanted to say, but you don’t need to thank me.” He paused, contemplating whether to speak his mind for fear of increasing the distance in which Donghun currently kept himself at. 

He opted to do it anyway. 

“It was nice, being able to hold you like that today.”

“It was.” Donghun hummed instantly in return, exhaling softly through his nose as a gentle smile tugged at his lips.

“You’re a good hugger.” Junhee whispered, and something about the tone of his words made it evident to Donghun that a playful smile adorned his face as he sat quietly on the other end of the line.

“I could say the same for you.” 

The two boys conversed for what felt like hours, discussing everything and nothing all at the same time. It was comfortable. Familiar.

Donghun liked to think that it felt like home. Something that he wasn’t used to, which made it even more enticing.

“Junhee-“ he interrupted as the vocalist babbled on to no point about his day, silencing him in an instant.

“I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about the way my hands were in your hair today.” He began, light flipping of his stomach a gentle reminder of his feelings for the younger boy that were slowly blooming like roses at the peak of spring. “The way your waist felt beneath my fingertips, how close you were to me and how I could’ve-“

Junhee caught himself holding his breath. Had Donghun really thought about kissing him then, too? His stomach churned with anticipation as the moment replayed in his mind like a broken record. 

His eyes on the photographer’s sun-kissed skin as the latter’s hands carded through Junhee’s hair at an agonisingly unrushed pace. How their eyes met and how it felt like the most natural thing in the world. How Junhee so desperately wanted to feel Donghun’s lips against his own, wanted to lace his fingers through his beautifully long hair and hold him forever. How it all felt so right. 

“I seem to do that a lot lately. Think about you.” Donghun admitted, interrupting Junhee’s fervent thoughts.

“Donghun-“

“If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day we first met.” The photographer began once more, breathy, nervous laughter falling softly from his plush lips.

“I think about your eyes, your smile, the way you smell. Every day I catch myself wondering what you’re doing, if you’re eating, if you’re happy.” He continued, voice softening to barely above a whisper as he sighed suddenly.

Junhee sat frozen on the other end of the line, lip trapped nervously between his teeth as countless butterflies took flight within his stomach. 

“Despite all that however, I can’t help but be reminded of the way you looked at me that first day. How afraid you were of me and how I-“ Donghun’s voice began to crack as he became noticeably more uneasy with each passing word. “How I hurt you. It pains me every single day knowing that I did that to you because I’m not- I’m not... I wouldn’t hurt you or anyone ever- I’m not like that I-“

“Hey.” Junhee interrupted, the pain in the photographers erratic voice too unbearable to hear.

“I’ve already told you that I forgive you, Hun. Do you think I see you as some sort of bully? What happened between us was just a misunderstanding, that’s all. I know you’re not like that, and if I thought otherwise do you really think I would’ve stayed by your side until now?”

“Junhee-“ 

“I know. You don’t want to hurt me. But I know that you won’t ever again. I trust you.”

“No Junhee that’s not-“ 

Donghun paused, battling his own conscience as he scrambled his mind for the right words and whether to say them. Junhee sat patiently albeit nervous as he waited; waited for a sentence that he was unaware was about to stop his heart. 

“I’m afraid that I might’ve already fallen in love with you.”

Junhee remained silent, the pounding in his chest almost drowning out the others words that followed soon after. 

“I keep thinking whether I should just distance myself from you, save us both the hurt.”

At that, the vocalist was snapped back to reality. 

“Distancing yourself from me now won’t do either of us any good.” Junhee replied sternly.

“Maybe you’re right.”

There was a long moment of silence from both ends and Junhee could tell that the other was drowning in his own thoughts. Good or bad, he wasn’t sure.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think I’ve already fallen in love with you too.”

A sudden, hushed yet heartwarming chuckle reached his ears through the phone, an indication that Donghun was smiling from the other end of the line. Junhee couldn’t stop the adoring smile that graced his features at the thought. 

“Junhee I can’t-“ 

“I know, we’ve been through this already.”

“I just- You deserve someone that can give you everything you want.”

“But what if you’re what I want?”

“I can’t be that person to you-“

“I know that. That’s not what I meant.” Junhee began, shifting positions onto his side, his eyes meeting the city as his mind wandered to thoughts of the photographer. 

“I won’t lose you just because you think I should be spending my time with someone else. I like the way things are with us, even if it isn’t exactly what I had imagined.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt again because of me.” Donghun whispered, guilt engulfing every word. 

Junhee was unsure how he even had a heart left to beat for the boy through the phone with how many times it had shattered over him. 

“I won’t, and if I do then that’s on me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Junhee chuckled suddenly, catching Donghun off guard. 

“It didn’t take either of us very long, did it? Despite everything you said that day when we went for coffee we still ended up head over heels for each other.” 

This time it was Donghun’s turn to laugh. 

It was so genuine and pure, that Junhee couldn’t help but smile as the image of the photographers endearing smile filled his mind.

He really was head over heels for the boy.

“Yeah, maybe it’s-“ Suddenly, rustling filled the ear that Junhee had his phone pressed eagerly against, startling him and cutting the others sentence short much to his dismay. 

“Hun? Is everything okay?” Junhee asked after a few more seconds of jarring white noise.

“Junhee I gotta go.” Donghun whispered in return, voice hushed so much so that Junhee could barely hear him. 

He sounded... fearful, almost. 

“Is something wrong?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

“Okay-“

“Good night, Junhee.” Donghun whispered once more, his parting words laced in noticeable sorrow yet what Junhee couldn’t hear, was the fondness they carried all the same. 

“Good night.” His farewell was barely able to slip past his lips before the line went dead, leaving Junhee laying in the almost pitch black of his city lit room as his thoughts fell into melancholy. 

Something was wrong. 

With this every thought on the photographer as he pondered every possible reason for his abrupt departure and fearful tone, Junhee fell unconscious rather quickly. 

And soundly, at that.

Donghun however, wasn’t as fortunate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the short hiatus,, ;W;


End file.
